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Harley Dude
14,651 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is from "Gunrnrs" post. Thought it might be fun to see how it plays out.

"If you think Religious Solicitors are one of natures moving targets!"


Just Some Dude...
1,142 Posts
If half of your weekly paycheck is direct deposited into your GunBroker account!

If your weekly ammo purchase is more than your monthly mortgage!

Harley Dude
14,651 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
If half of your weekly paycheck is direct deposited into your GunBroker account!

If your weekly ammo purchase is more than your monthly mortgage!
Those are good. Sounds like they may be close to the heart?

Harley Dude
14,651 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
"If you buy guns and ammo for your wifes birthday, instead of flowers and cake"

3,978 Posts
You think desert after dinner should smell like gun powder or Hoppe's #9.

Premium Member
15,424 Posts
If you have a "mourning period" every time you sell a personal firearm.

If you talk to the buyer's neighbors and 3rd Grade teacher to make sure that the buyer is a person of sufficient moral stature to own one of your former "babies".

If you buy reloading dies because they're on sale and then need to buy the gun that shoots that caliber.

If you find spent brass at the range in a caliber you don't own and then need to buy the gun that shoots that caliber.

If you get a holster on sale that doesn't fit anything you own, and then need to buy the gun that fits in the holster.

If you see a gun in a movie or TV show and can't identify it and you stay up all night gazing at catalogs and websites 'cause you can't sleep until you know what it is.

If you scream at the TV when someone tells the dude in the show to "Throw your gun down", and he actually throws it.

I'll think of more later.

Oh, and here's my big boy dog, Sako:

-You request for a shopping cart at the gun store.

-You think Hopps #9 would make a great womens perfume

-You have spread you love of firearms all across the world (DEVIL DOGS, SOUND OFF!)

-You have a tactical 3 point sling on your ruger 10/22

-When you say range trip, you rent a U-haul

3,633 Posts
You know that you are a gun-a-holic when:

When you dig through boxes in the garage and find parts for firearms you don't own and decide to buy the parts that are missing so you can build it.

You use a 30 gallon barrels for all your fired cases, one for each caliber.

When you look through the safe and find firearms you don't remember owning.

When you modified an old cement mixer for your "brass tumbler"

3,978 Posts
You know that you are a gun-a-holic when:

When you dig through boxes in the garage and find parts for firearms you don't own and decide to buy the parts that are missing so you can build it.

You use a 30 gallon barrels for all your fired cases, one for each caliber.

When you look through the safe and find firearms you don't remember owning.

When you modified an old cement mixer for your "brass tumbler"
That's funny, one mega tumbler. Mind if I ask what media you use? hehe

3,633 Posts
That's funny, one mega tumbler. Mind if I ask what media you use? hehe

Crushed walnut. It takes about 30 pounds, I get through a feed store pretty resonable. Even so, it is a good thing, I don't have to change it often.

Premium Member
15,424 Posts
See, DS, you out-Gun-Nutted me. I only run a UV-18, a UV-10 and a cheepo off-brand tumbler. But I do buy my media in 40-lb sacks. From a Forest Supply company.

Premium Member
15,424 Posts
Acquired, borrowed and stolen from many sources over the yrs. Enjoy:

You KNOW you're a GUN NUT, if:
  • ... you ever seriously thought about dabbing on a little Hoppe's #9 before going out on a date.
  • buy some checkering tools, you checker all your gunstocks, and then start on the bedposts.
  • cannot recall how many firearms you own.
  • buy a gun that's just like that other gun you have except the barrel is 1/2" shorter (or longer).
  • buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.
  • know 12 different names for one caliber of cartridge.
  • ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you cleaned it last.
  • consider naming your unborn child Winchester or Remington.
  • purchased two Glocks and two Sigs just to see which brand was better.
  • ...your drive to work is filled with reverie about why Ed's Red actually works.
  • strip all the paint off our car and refinish it with cold blue.
  • ever bought ammo in a caliber for which you have no gun, because you thought some day you MIGHT get a gun in that caliber.
  • ...your collection of American Rifleman back issues, Gun Digests and reloading manuals cost you a premium the last time you moved.
  • have more than one gun that "kills on both ends."
  • buy high capacity magazines for a gun you have not bought yet.
  • take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
  • ...your mother-in-law asks what new gun junk you want for Christmas this year.
  • see TV footage of the war in Bosnia and wish you were there to pick up the brass.
  • drive 300 miles just to ogle (and fire) HK-MP5s (and Stens, Uzis, BMGs and whatever else shows up at Knob Creek).
  • keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case," and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.
  • consider it unpatriotic not to own at least one .45 and one .22.
  • named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 gauge "Big Jake."
  • own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot.
  • tape American Shooter so you can pause, reverse and fast forward to do a complete analysis of the show.
  • understand Smith & Wesson's model numbers.
  • ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better."
  • keep a collection of different cartridges at your place of work as a "conversation piece."
  • take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.
  • ever had to explain, "It's NOT the same gun, it's a variation!"
  • and your new father-in-law go to a gun show on your wedding day.
  • have life memberships in more than one shooting organization.
  • read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think, "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!"
  • ...watching The Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro Express.
  • ...while watching the movie Terminator 2, you have to leave the room in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwarzenegger throws the CAR-16 off the moving tractor-trailer and it goes bouncing away.
  • go to three different gun shows within a month and you're excited every single time.
  • ...your guns are cleaner than your residence.
  • have 5 different guns being DROS'd at 3 different FFL dealers.
  • plunked down a $130 deposit on a Seecamp after waiting two years for them to accept your order, and are still willing to wait another two years for them to make your pistol.
  • ...your mom gives you a new Springfield Armory .308 sniper rifle for Christmas.
  • ...four local gun shops know you by name.
  • have your own BATF agent.
  •'re friends with 90% of the employee's at all the local gun shops.
  • identify the gun on the cover of Dillon’s Blue Press before you even notice the girl.
  • ...when you stop in at the local gun shop, they ask you questions like: "How was work?" "How are the wife and kids?" "We're gonna order some food, what do you want?" etc.
  • have more gunpowder stashed in your home than your local sporting goods store has on hand.
  • can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc.
  • ...all of your children are life members of the NRA.
  • ...your children are named "Ogive" and "Meplat."
  • ...if you make $30 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 S&W brass.
  • have Brownells on speed dial.
  • trimmed down 100 10mm cases to form .357 Sig brass before commercial supplies of this brass were available.
  • ...the custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases and the gearshift knob is a .50 BMG.
  • ...your girl friend thinks that aura of Hoppe’s No.9 is your favorite after-shave.
  • have guns in your safe that you can't, for the life of you, remember how you came by.
  • know the answers to 99.9% of THE GUN GUY's trivia questions.
  • ...your cat is named Mauser and your dog is Luger.
  • ...your computer passwords are gun related.
  • ...your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts.
  • have an open account with Federal, Hornady, Cor-Bon, Winchester and Remington.
  • call Brownells and they know your voice.
  • ...your personalized license plate is 3006 AP, Glock, or MAG-58.
  • read to your kids from GUN DIGEST at bedtime.
  • ...your gun magazine subscriptions don't run out until 2015.
  • clean out your trunk and find 1000 rounds of ammo you forgot about.
  • kids know every fast food place around gun shops and ranges within 100 miles of home.
  • ...your kids cried watching BAMBI when the hunter shot Bambi's mother because the hunter had filled his tag.
  • ...your kid thinks the seasons are SMALL GAME and DEER.
  • ...a friend shows up with a pistol that was last made 50 years ago and only 10 were ever made, and you have the correct holster for it.
  • have more GI ammo cans than the local Army Reserve unit.
  • have more guns than some third-world countries.
  • ...local SWAT teams come to you for advice.
  • think John Moses Browning's birthday should be a national holiday.
  • have 5 pairs of earmuff hearing protectors and shooting glasses in every lens color ever made.
  • ...instead of a lamppost in your front yard you have a pepper popper.
  • give your mailman and paper delivery people gift certificates from a gun shop for Christmas.
  • have reloading presses for every caliber you shoot, so you don't have to take time to change dies.
  • have a standard order for 5,000 primers every week at the local gun shop.
  • put in a loading dock at your home so you could buy ammo by the semi load.
  • ...your gun safes cost more than all your furniture.
  • can't put your car in the garage because it is filled with buckets of wheel weights and lead ingots.
  • ...when you went to the Grand Canyon you were trying to figure the amount of hold-over you would need to hit the other side.
  • ever shot propane tanks to see 'em burn.
  • ever gave a Browning Superimposed as a wedding gift.
  • ...the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't.
  • ever missed your wife's birthday to attend a pistol match. (BAD MOVE)
  • took wife to Europe for a month (see above) and the ammo companies had to lay off workers.
  • ...the UPS man will not deliver to you unless you have a hand truck.
  • watch movies just to identify the guns used in them.
  • ...your doorbell does not chime, it plays a burst of machinegun fire.
  • know the range of every tree in the neighborhood.
  • ...all your winter coats are Hunter's Orange.
  • have wind chimes made from shell casings.
  • ...all your belts are made by holster makers.
  • can tell the caliber of an empty cartridge by feel.
  • have COLT and 1911 tattooed on your fingers.
  • buy your holsters matched sets, just in case.
  • ...all your trousers are let out so you can wear an ITB holster.
  • carry a dummy cartridge for a good luck piece.
  • ...all your key rings have sight-adjusting screwdrivers attached.
  • found that if you sold all your gun stuff, you could by a Rolls Royce - - for cash.
  • ever brought a new rifle into the house in an old case so you could say you just picked it up after being fixed.
  • ...if somebody pointed a magnetometer at your house, it would melt down.
  • get Christmas Cards from all the gun and ammo companies.
  • had heavy-duty springs installed in you vehicle just so you could haul your stuff to the range.
  • ...there was a major riot in your city and the cops came to you for supplies.
  • have decided you could never move because you could not get your gun safes out of the basement.
  • ...your dream home would have a 100 foot indoor range in the basement.
  • own more than 2 chronographs.
  • have 6 pairs of shooting gloves, 5 that have never been worn.
  • have burn scars from hot brass hitting you.
  • take your hat off and hold it over your heart when anybody mentions Oliver Winchester, Sam Colt, John M. Browning or either of the Maxims.
  • ...your air fresheners smell like Cordite.
  • ...if somebody says they have a Remington Bronze, you want to know when they made cannon and the bore size.
  • gave your son a Winchester M-70 on his first birthday.
  • have a rifle in .458 and you don't hunt big game.
  • ...all the calendars in you house came from gun companies.
  • ...gun shops call you to see if you are going to order any thing from Gun Parts or Brownells so you can add their order to yours.
  • have pistol grips off guns that you have not owned for 15 years.
  • get misty-eyed when you sell a gun.
  • tag pages in SGN/GL for later reference.
  • own 4 AR-15's configured EXACTLY the same but by different manufactures (Colt, Bushmaster, Olympic Arms, Armalite, etc.) just because you can.
  • ...the last 5 guns you bought are never to be fired.
  • ...when buying a new gun, you plead with your gun shop to keep it until you have space for it.
  • ...your wife wants to wear black leather so you buy her a carry holster.
  • have Trijicon Night-Lights in your bedroom.
  • ...your mailbox has a Weaver Rail on top.
  • can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say, "Bushmaster."
  • would like to see Bill Clinton or Barbara Boxer spend even one hour after midnight at a Washington, D.C. bus-stop without their bodyguards.
  • build a gun rack in your bedroom and it's closer to you than your wife.
  • can identify gunshots from far away as to caliber, whether from a rifle or pistol, brand of gun, grains of powder used, *what* powder and at what velocity.
  • ever stumbled across a cache of once-fired brass for a caliber you don't own, but hoarded it anyway.
  • ...your answer to the recent rec.guns newsgroup thread, "How many guns do you need?" is, "How many do you have room for in your house?"
  • stockpiled thousands of primers during the infamous "Primer Famine of 1994."
  • ...a friend knows you reload and gives you a set of dies of a caliber you do not already have, and you go out and buy a gun so you can use the FREE dies.
  • ...when you do the wash, several spent casings fall out of your rolled-up sleeves.
  • go to a gun show and contemplate buying a particular gun for a half an hour before you remember that you already have that one.
  • ...when you go to the magazine rack, you check the "Guns & Ammo" cover to see if there are new guns as compared to checking the Playboy cover to see what it is offering.
  • own more reloading manuals than Bibles.
  • own a BAYONET for a gun you haven't bought yet.
  • buy a gun that is a duplicate of one you already have because the original one might break someday . . .
  • name your first-born boy MAK90.
  •'d rather have a $10,000 PSG-1 and drive a $600 car, rather than drive a $10,000 car and have a $600 gun.
  • preach how stupid gun laws/bans are at work when you work in a predominantly ANTI-gun company.
  • would rather ban alcohol than high-capacity clips/magazines.
  • name your first-born girl LadySmith.
  • ...your kid's disposable diapers come in camo battle packs.
  • bothers you more when 007 runs out of ammo than when the BOND girl dies.
  • ...your key-ring fob is a converted .50BMG cartridge.
  • ...your driver's license says "must wear night-vision goggles."
  • watch La Femme Nikita just to see the HK MP5s.
  • ..."Miller Time" means plinking at beer cans.
  • ...the highlight of your week is discovering that six .40 S&W hollow points fit perfectly in a plastic 35mm film canister (5 up/1 down in the middle).
  • put a Hogue Grip on your car's parking brake.
  • retrofit a laser sight to your TV remote control.
  • takes you several minutes leafing through "Small Arms of the World" to find a gun you have never fired.
  • have a callus on your shoulder.
  •'ve ever sent a scope (that was never dropped) back to Leupold for repair.
  • ...factories ask *you* how well their guns hold up.
  • ...Hornady's largest Midwestern distributor informs you that you've bought over half of all the Vector ammo they've ever had in stock.
  • even had the thought, "I wonder what scale little kids Animal Crackers are, compared to Regulation silhouettes?"
  • ...your standard Sunday afternoon question to guys selling surplus ammo at gun shows is "How much for all of it, so you don't have to lug it home?"
  • ...RCBS asked *you* for load data for the .357 Sig (before it was published).
  • shoot enough Berdan-primed ammo that you are on a first-name basis with your local scrap metal dealer.
  • ...upon seeing your 1978 wildcatting project (a .375 on a .50 Sharps 3-1/4" case, 3340 FPS with a 300 Sierra boat tail), Elmer Keith says "You're nuts!"
  • ...Keith Francis (at JGS, the chambering reamer company), answers your phone calls "What have you dreamed up *this* time?"
  • own a firearm listed in the Guinness Book of World Records.
  • go to a marriage counselor, he asks you which you like better, shooting or sex, and you think it's the stupidest question you've ever heard.
  •'re in the army reserves, and they can't figure out why every time they send you out to shoot the M60 with 100 rounds, you return with a shot-out barrel (it never dawns on them you're bringing your own ammo . . . ).
  • keep a copy of one of Elmer Keith's books on your coffee table.
  • spend more on ammo each month than on food.
  • list your local FFL dealer as a dependent on your tax return.
  • ...a topless joint with free admission is half a mile away, and instead you drive 40 miles to the shooting range on a Saturday night.
  • alternate Silvertips and Hydra-Shocks in your magazines because they look prettier that way.
  • guess range and windage whenever you look at road signs.
  • have more .50 caliber ammo cans than the local U. S. Army Reserves armory.
  • ...your gun collection is worth more than your automobile.
  • have to run out to the range this weekend to shoot up some ammo because you need some brass to reload.
  • ...seeing Bill Clinton's picture automatically sends you into Condition Orange.
  •'re still reading this inane list.
  • live in that serious part of the country where deer season is a recognized holiday.
  • wish you could buy "The Blue Book of Gun Values" in hard cover.
  • watch old WWII movies and can identify all the rifles and handguns, but can't remember who starred in the movie or what it was about.
  • consider it a point of honor to buy factory ammo only if you need the brass.
To Be Continued, Y'All...

Premium Member
15,424 Posts
~ Here's Page Two ~
  • consider it a point of honor to buy factory ammo only if you need the brass.
  • ...when you hear or see the numbers 221 you automatically think "fireball," 257 you think "Roberts," 218 "Bee," 45-70 "government," etc., and can't stop.
  • ...your pickup is subject to search at any given time because, in your state, empty cartridge cases rolling around the floor are considered probable cause.
  • read the sports section of the newspaper just for the gun ads.
  • get a flat and realize that you've got 400 pounds of shot, a Hefty bag each of wads and empty hulls, and enough primers to re-open the main shaft of the Lost Dutchman on top of your spare tire.
  • wonder what size rings you would need to mount the Hubble Space Telescope on a varmint rifle.
  • ... .22LR cartridges frequently find their way into your wife's washing machine.
  • ...your gun safe cost more than your dining room set.
  • work for the military and have more shooting experience than the guys in uniform you work with.
  • ...your teenage daughter's next date is introduced to you while you're sitting at the loading bench cleaning your M-1.
  • visit the shooting range more then twice a week.
  • ...your wife says to buy a gun she would like you to sell one first.
  • have ever had your local sporting goods store call your house and ask, "We are doing a stock order, did you need anything?"
  • ...the checkering pattern of your favorite 1911is permanently impressed in your palm.
  • ...your bridal registry is at the local gun shop.
  • have more cubic feet of your home devoted to gun-related materials than clothing.
  • can identify on sight all rifle bolt-faces as in: "That's a Ruger, that's a Savage, that's a Winchester . . ."
  • ...the largest gun store in your area calls you if they need something they can't get elsewhere.
  •'re a computer specialist and you have more issues of Shotgun News and Gun List than Mac Week and PCWeek.
  • actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.
  • bought 7 or more AK-47's just so you could have different ones from different countries (Bulgarian, Romanian, Russian, Yugoslavian, Egyptian, Chinese, etc.).
  • ...your phone number, license plate, extension at work, etc. relates to some kind of bullet caliber . . . ON PURPOSE.
  • have framed targets hanging in your bathroom, hallway, or at work, etc. with tight groups that you have shot.
  • can read the same issue of SGN/GL/etc. every day until the new issue comes out.
  • take time to think these things up.
  • ...surplus ammunition importers call you up to see if there is any thing you were looking for.
  • ...when you log on to the www your first page that comes up is the GUN GUY's home page.
  • ever shot out a 1911 barrel.
  • had a 1911 break down after well over 500,000 rounds and you thought that it should have kept working.
  • read this stuff and don't think it is either unreasonable or funny.
  • save brass and have a case tumbler and you DON'T reload.
  • wanted the doctor to induce labor on your wife so your kid would be born before [fill in the match] so you could attend.
  • never go anyplace without at least two pair of earplugs.
  • ...your five year old can detail strip and reassemble a M-1 Garand.
  • home school and use ballistic tables for math lessons.
  • ...your speedometer is in both MPH and FPS.
  • know the Hatcher RSP factor for all your vehicles at all the speeds they can reach.
  • can figure out the RSP factor in your head.
  • measure things in MOA.
  • ever left a handful of cartridges as a tip.
  • ever practiced "air draw", sort of like "air guitar".
  • plink with a .500 Linebaugh.
  • carry a Taurus Raging Bull as a backup and you're a priest.
  • cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photographs.
  • ever asked anybody if they wanted to see a photograph of your pride and joy and you were not speaking about your newborn child but your latest custom firearm.
  • ...on the day you got married, you were asked "Is this the happiest day in your life?" and you answered, "No, that was when I shot DISTINGUISHED."
  • ever seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder.
  • homeowners insurance company would cancel your policy if they ever knew any of the following:
(1) the true value of your firearms
(2) how much ammunition you have stored at home
(3) how much gun powder you have stored

(4) how many primers you have.
  • ...your brass tumbler is made from a small cement mixer.
  • ever asked Hoppe's if they would sell you their Hoppe's Number 9 in 30-gallon drums.
  • ever put dirty patches in a "delicate" bag so you could run them thru the washer.
  • always thought "Dirty Harry" was a wimp and did not use enough gun.
  • watch SCI-FI movies and try to figure what they made the blast rifles from.
  • keep a notebook listing your guns and which safe they should be in.
  • ever thought you would like to have a rifle made that fired the .50BMG case blown making a straight walled case. “.50 BMG Ackley Imp. 40°”
  • ever wanted to fire one of your rifles and it took you 20 minutes of moving .50 Cal. cans to locate the one containing the correct ammo.
  • took you another 10 minutes moving cans to reach it.
  • know the days your gun mags should arrive in the mail.
  • keep your spare pistol magazines in their own ammo cans, Browning P-35 mags in this can, S&W 4506 mags in that can, 1911 mags in those two cans.
  • named your twin sons Win and Chester.
  • have a case of .22 Velodog just in case somebody decides to chamber a pistol in that caliber again.
  • have ever thought of corning your own black powder.
  • can identify bore solvents by smell. Sweets is the easy one.
  • ever smoked a cigarette with Hoppe's on it.....and did not put it out.
  • have a 5-gallon bucket of spent primers that you are trying to find a use for.
  • ever got frostbite of the fingers trying to dig the last piece of brass out of a snow bank.
  • have photographs of your firearms in the same album as your kids.
  • keep track of birthdates, anniversaries by purchase dates of firearms, "Let's see, I bought the .30-06 Model 70 two weeks before Bob was born in '87."
  • ever got detained at the airport after the empty cartridges in your pockets set off the metal detectors.
  • have more firepower than your local armory.
  • ...your smallest gun safe is larger than your refrigerator — and cleaner!
  • use your lottery winnings to buy out gun shows --with cash.
  • believe Jesse -The Mind- Ventura would be a GREAT President.
  • ...if you discover the reason you cannot fall asleep at a friend's house is that you do not have your carry gun within arm's reach. Once this problem is corrected, you fall asleep within one minute of closing your eyes.
  • ...if, during an idle moment at work, you print out the entire gun nut list and start checking off the ones that apply to you personally. I am up to twenty-four myself.
  • ...if one of your fondest memories is that, after going to gun shows for years with very little money in your pocket, you are able to go to a gun show with $1600 -in cash- and don't intend to leave the show with one penny of it.
  • picked up a holster at a yard sale as a teenager and saved it for years until you could buy a gun to put in it. Then you did.
  • really DO have a gun or ammunition buried in your back yard.
  • have figured out how to defend your neighborhood with your guns (and with whom) in case Y2K turns out the lights.
  • got a C&R license and have to track packages on FedEx’s website so you can leave work early to sign for the packages
  • do this to avoid your wife scrutinizing your packages.
  •'ve bought one or more guns so your friends can go shooting with you. (-PMA).
  • give your wife a bottle of RemOil to use as cologne (or lube).
  • ...the thought of mounting a GAU-8A in the bed of your truck excites you sexually.
  • look at a very small object 150 yards away, and wish you had a sniper rifle.
  •'ve spent more money on ammunition than on your kids.
  • find yourself asking, "Should I buy groceries this week, or get that BAR that's on sale at Guns-R-Us," and decide that you need to lose a few pounds anyway.
  • ...all you want for Christmas is a progressive reloader and dies for every caliber on the planet, including ones that haven't been used for 50 years.
  •'ve ever said "They'll take my gun when they pry it from my cold, dead hands," and meant it.
  • ...the NRA is the beneficiary of your life insurance policy
  • have both the civilian and military version of HK's Mark 23
  • keep a gun under the seat of your riding lawn mower.
  • are wearing bandoliers under your suit jacket .
  • were more excited when you purchased your first gun than when you purchased your first car.
  • bought a home theatre system just to make the gunfights in movies sound more realistic.
  • have both the blued and nickel plated version of your favorite gun.
  • have bought at least one gun just to "see how it shoots" and traded it off a month later.
  • ...all of your pistols have high capacity mags.
  • have double subscriptions of all your gun magazines- one for home and one for work
  • ...your concealed carry weapon varies by your mood
  • were more excited when you got your concealed weapons license than when you got your drivers license
  • take a part-time job at a local gun shop for the discounts- not because you need the money
  • have a cut-away view poster for all your guns spread through-out your house
  • have shot all the guns featured in Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six
  • have an AR-15 in at least three different calibers
  • actually bought that gold plated Desert Eagle you had your eye on
  • think Ted Nugent would make a good president.
  • have a natural depression in the cheek of your ass from the 9mm that you carry.
  • wonder how big the crater would be if your house caught fire.
  •'re explaining to the hospital the plug of meat missing from your foot when you stepped on that empty casing in the middle of the night.
  • have a screensaver on your computer that shows bullets hitting the screen.
  • ...loading a magnum slug into a shotgun and having a novice shoot skeet.
  • ...counting cartridges loaded into a drum while going to sleep instead of sheep.
  • ...automatically counting shots fired in a movie scene and then replaying to prove it.
  • ...missing tooth from demonstrating how to shoot skeet with a pistol grip 12 ga.
  • ...having to cut the callous off of your trigger finger so you can feel the trigger.
  • ...using shooting clays as ashtrays.
  • ...having dishpan hands from using dish soap to clean the reloading gunk off of your hands so you don't ingest too much lead and lose all your hair.
  • ...get tennis elbow from yanking the handle on your reloader.
  • use cans of ammo in the bed of your truck to get traction.
  • have ½-inch plate steel targets that need replaced after using them only for your 22 cal weapons.
  • have a heart problem and just eat a pinch of gunpowder instead of the nitro pills the doctor gave you.
  •'re using spent bullets for fishing weights.
  • spend a night actually counting the number of grains of powder in one of your reloads.
  • have the wife yell at you that you used all of her finger nail polish sealing rounds against moisture.
  • made a necklace for your wife out of spent bullets and fishing line.
  • use loaded rounds for earplugs when there is nothing else to use.
  • have so much bad brass that you melt it down and cast your own copy of the liberty bell.
  • throw handfuls of used primers under your tires to get traction on ice.
  • wire 6 D-cell batteries up to the primer alarm on your reloading press because the 9v battery wears out too soon.
  • use a 55-gallon drum to tumble your brass.
  • have Dillon ask you to test their newest gizmo for its useful life.
  • ...most or all of your clothing has gun logos.
  • have your own firing position at the local range that NO one else will use.
  • stop shooting sporting clays for six months and the price of lead drops on the world market due to oversupply.
  • wear your prescription shooting glasses ALL of the time.
  • have withdrawal symptoms after 48 hours if you don't smell burning gunpowder.
  • make the local police nervous because you always stare at their gun.
  • cried when you learned that the military was dropping the .45, and were the first in line to purchase the new Beretta.
  • can never remember just how many 28 gauge shotguns you own.
  • passed up a promotion in the Army to remain as the company Armorer.
  • ...your daughter wants a BIG wedding and you finance it by "thinning" your gun collection.
  • read all of the gun mags and actually understand all of the technical drivel.
  • ...the local police ask you for advice on the impending purchase of a sniper rifle.
  • take 5 guns to the range, fill your trunk with ammo and discover upon arrival that you forgot ammo for one of them.
  • win stuffed animals at the fair so you can use them for targets.
  • have memorized all your "best" loads, for all your firearms.
  • can identify most powders by sight
  • weigh your primers, and bullets, and match weights when you reload
  • can't understand most simple math, but can understand ballistic theories.
  • ...Sweet's 7.62 no longer makes your eyes water
  • use more ammonia cleaning your guns than your wife uses around the house.
  • are in s*it with your wife for cleaning gun parts in the dishwasher.
  • have to replace the kitchen linoleum because of your last bluing session on the stove.
  • ...your wife has banned you from casting bullets, using her stove.
  • recognize the berm at Knob Creek, and you don't even own a machine gun AND you have never been there!!!
  • read this list and get all kinds of good ideas!
  • use your last 11 pieces of printer paper to print this list to show your wife
  • ...your 7yr old can name at least 6 different 45acp head stamps
  • put a "cheater bar" on your rock chucker so your kid can size brass for you
  • read every one of these looking for the word "cosmoline" and wonder "Who are these people who don't have guns that came packed in cosmoline?"
  • ...your wife comes home from shopping and KNOWS you have a new gun from the cosmo sniff test.
  • spend hours each week, over a period of a few years, creating and maintaining a website that earns nothing but does offer an opportunity to interact with gun folk!
  •'re out plinking cans with your daughter, and she tells you that for her next birthday you can give her a Lady Smith with her name engraved on it and the words, "Love Dad"
  •'re relaxing at home, thinking about a pistol you haven't shot in a while, and you have a PANIC ATTACK, because you can't remember where you've it hidden in the house..!
  • fly the NRA flag on your flagpole along with the good old stars and stripes.
  • have an SR-3 target taped to your picture window.
  • take so much ammo to the range, the other gun-nuts think you're excessive. ...same for the number of guns.
  • buy a holster off of ebay because it's a really good price, even though the holster is left-handed and you are right-handed.
  • practice your quick draw by dry firing at the television and no one in your family even notices.
  • check everyday to see if they have updated it their site.
  • ...every time you tell your wife you love her she asks what "gun thing" you are wanting to buy.
  • ...when you sell a gun, you grieve.
  • name the first rifle you ever built after your girlfriend.
  • ...[at Easter] you paint and hide bullets instead of eggs
  • ...[at Christmastime]...make nativity scenes using pictures of the famous gun makers (Colt, Browning,..etc)
  • know you are a gun nut when you are the last one to evacuate your office when the fire bell rings, because you have to collect the Targets papering your cubicle, then grab the cut-down artillery round pencil holder, Keiths Gun Notes Vol. I & II, and the notebooks filled with loading data.
  •'ve ever cleaned your gun while your wife was in labor, and handed her your watch so she could time the contractions, cautioning her NOT to get to three minutes apart before you were done.
  •'ve ever actually claimed that you deer hunt to save money, after spending $300 on gear.
  • buy the handgun because it was made in the same factory as two of your rifles.
  • ...highlights from your European vacation include a tour of the Czech BRNO factory.
...Almost Done

Premium Member
15,424 Posts
~ ...and Page Three ~

A few for GB/S9 & The Other Gals

  • have fashioned earrings made of shell casings.
  • consult jewelers and friends who have machine experience, as to the best way to drill a really small hole through a .224 FMJ, so you can fashion them into earrings.
  • carry sight-adjusting tools and gun-cleaning tools in your purse.
  • ...your home page is some gun forum or other.
  • ...your LEO friends give you carry ammo for your birthday.
  • ...your apartment manager still doesn't know about the reloader hard-mounted in the hall closet.
  • can identify handguns on TV at a glance.
  • feel a thrill when yet another LE agency or other has adopted the Sig Sauer as their weapon of choice.
  • The wallpaper on your computer is a photo of your 1911.
  • might be a gun nut if you have bought your wife more than six guns in a year. ________________________________________________
  • ...the [local] fire department has a stated policy: "If Buddy's house catches fire we fight it. If it's his shop, we clear a two block area".
  • buy a gun just because you have a vacant slot in your safe.
  • ...while surfing the Web, you are shocked to accidentally discover that "golden shower" does not refer to the brass from the guy on your left.
  • go to Las Vegas and the only money you gamble away is a $20 bet on a shooting match at a local gun range.
  • read the Blue Book of Gun Values for entertainment.
  • know Mikhail Kalashnikov's middle name (Timofeevich).
  • add an entire room to your house (because old gun room is just too small).
  • rebuild your gun room to match the stock on your new rifle.
  • ...if you can identify the kind of powder someone is loading by the smell of the smoke.
  • ...All of your PIN codes, email passwords and addresses are cryptic references to serial numbers and models of weapons you own.
  • paid for that 1911A1 three days before your 21st birthday so that the waiting period would be completed by the day you could legally take ownership
  • ...Your house burns down and you convince the police and firemen that you MUST have your M-1 retrieved for security reasons and returned to you immediately. You rent a motel room in town to begin cleaning the rifle AT ONCE.
  • ...When people bash Canadian politics, you quietly explain that you have forgiven them their sins past and future in honor of John C. Garand.
  • ...You can find something redeeming to say about even the most humble 'POS' firearm, to spare a fellow gun owner's feelings.
  • ...You have two children, so all gun purchases have to be in duplicate for the good of the children and so they won't fight over things from your estate.
  • ... when watching Band of Brothers you notice someone's 1911 had the wrong sights - and that ruined the whole story for you.
  • ... the smell of the first gun you purchased makes you misty.
  • ... you even remember the smell of the first gun you ever purchased.
  • ... you watched Thief, Heat, Collateral and Way of the Gun and noticed they were using some variation of Jeff Cooper's "modern technique of the handgun"
  • ... you own the above movies because of that fact.
  • ... you modify a dustbuster for picking up brass at the range.
  • ... your kitchen table is cleaner when you've got your guns on it than when you're using it for breakfast.
  • ... you were the only teenager at school who ever locked himself in the bathroom for hours only because you were there to admire the bluing of your new rifle and the bathroom had the best lighting in the house.
  • have a name and nickname for every gun you own.
  • feel suicidal if your gun gets a scratch in it.
  • buy a bunch of sporter stocks by Bishop and Fajen even though you don’t have actions or barrels for them.
  • buy your girlfriend shooting accessories for Christmas because that’s romantic (isn’t it?)
  • bought a second lap top because your always on gun sites and she has “real work to do”.
  • spent the money you saved for an engagement ring at the Middle Town gun show, and your girlfriend understood.
  • might be a gun nut if you read this whole list without stopping, like I did.
  • ...your reloading press is the only dust free tool in your workroom.

Harley Dude
14,651 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
My God! Look what I unleashed!

"Gunrnr" is running amok!! Take your meds!
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