National Gun Forum banner

1 - 20 of 60 Posts

·
Gun Cashew
Joined
·
134 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Here are some things I learned about guns from watching TV and movies:

1) Guns are loaded with bullets.

2) Shooting someone with a shotgun causes them to fly back 19 feet

3) Everyone gets shot once and dies immediately, except for heroes, who get shot in the arm or shoulder, but just grimace a little and bandage themselves up - or get bandaged by the super hottie ex-girlfriend.

4) Heroes do not have major arteries. Apparently, getting shot in the arm only makes the hero bleed moderately, and does not affect his ability to shoot back. Villain's heads explode when pelted with a beebee gun.

5) Dropping a gun invariably causes it to discharge. There is no such thing as someone dropping a gun without it firing. Someone usually dies as a result.

6) The best way to hand someone a gun is to keep your finger inside the trigger guard, "loop" the gun downwards in an impressive flourish and hand it to the other person.

7) Similar to #5 above, a great way to surrender a firearm is to put both hands in the air with one hand dangling the firearm with one finger through the trigger guard.

8) If you want to dodge bullets, just run sideways with your hands shielding your face. The bullets will hit every surface around you, but you will be fine.

9) Hammer cocking sounds happen whenever someone first picks up the gun. This mysterious phenomenon also happens when suddenly turning the corner, putting the firearm back in the holster, aiming it in a new direction, or pointing it at someone's head after pointing it at their chest. Guns have a magical ability to make that distinctive cocking sound themselves without the user touching the hammer. This also happens on hammerless guns.

10) Clips and magazines are the same thing.

11) Revolvers can shoot 30+ rounds without reloading.

12) Fired bullets cause sparks on every surface.

13) All guns click when empty.

14) Cartridges are actually bazooka missiles. Takes only one bullet to blow up a car or fire extinguisher every time. Of course, if it is a fire extinguisher, the contents spray directly out onto the villain's face.

15) Hearing impairment is never an issue when firing without ear protection in an enclosed space. Only exception I've seen is in Walking Dead when the protagonist shoots a dead guy in a tank. He is immediately dazed and suffers some short term hearing loss accompanied by ringing - well done!

16) Hiding behind cars, or inside cars, is adequate protection against any kind of fire.

17) Bullets can ricochet off of every surface.

Add your own!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,193 Posts
Heroes can shoot and hit something as small as a rope to cause a heavy weight to fall on the bad guy. This is usually done at long distances and only 1 shot.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ziggidy

·
Grand Imperial Poobah
Joined
·
22,939 Posts
18) In tense moments, time slows down and you can watch bullets leave a gun's barrel.

19) All guns are missing a round in the chamber, forcing the good guy to rack the slide or pump the shotgun.

20) Holding your pistol sideways is a requirement of every bad guy.

21) Using a silencer will make every shot sound like a mouse's fart.

22) During tense moments, the sky opens up and scary music plays.

23) Bad guys travel with porcelain guns to evade airport security and x-rays.

24) Guns don't have recoil ..... ever.

25) When shooting a scoped rifle, you must turn the knobby things on the scope.

26) Stub nosed revolvers are accurate to 200 yards or more.

27) When a bullet strikes a wall, it is only ¼ inch deep, allowing the good guy to extract it with a pocket knife.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,253 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,127 Posts
All guns have Magazine capacity of 75 rounds or more.

It is very easy to grab a pistol and disassemble it while the bad guy is holding it. Before he can get a shot off.

It is easy to make your own bullets with just a few things laying around the shop.

You can drill holes in the top of your bullets and ad materials that make them explode.

Racking a shotgun multiple times makes the shotgun more effective.
 
  • Like
Reactions: olhippy

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,193 Posts
Racking a shotgun multiple times makes the shotgun more effective.
That`s those air operated shotguns----more pumps ---shoot harder!
 
  • Like
Reactions: larry

·
Banned
Joined
·
632 Posts
how about that Rambo guy shooting the M-60 machine gun with about 2 ft. of belted ammo hanging out of the receiver? he fires away for about 5 minutes and that belt never gets any shorter...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,403 Posts
In one Hawaii Five-O episode, the amazing Steve McGarrett pulled his snub-nosed .38 Special revolver and shot a bad guy off the roof of a tall Honolulu hotel. I'm sure any one of us pistoleros could do it too, but in my case, I would a 4 inch .38. (Gettin' old)
 

·
Ancient Gaseous Emanation
Joined
·
54,413 Posts
i learned that Hopalong Cassidy, Roy Rogers and The Lone Ranger rarely missed,
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ziggidy

·
Banned
Joined
·
632 Posts
Or...just about any cowboy shoot 'em up where the hero blasts the bad guy while on horseback. I've tried to hit a stationary target while mounted on a horse, and couldn't hit s***, with a rifle or a pistol. (The horse didn't care too much for it either)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,127 Posts
i learned that Hopalong Cassidy, Roy Rogers and The Lone Ranger rarely missed,
Oh yeh, this reminds me. A 45 Colt will make a hole in a person that you can see light though before the die.

And Roy Rogers really did never miss.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,193 Posts
That episode of "The Walking Dead" is the only one I ever watched. That was pretty good when that zombie came to in the tank.
Roy was just flat out deadly with a Colt - if he needed to be. Usually he just shot to wound.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,254 Posts
Bond. James Bond.

Whole divisions of uniformed minions blast away at him with fully automatic weapons as he runs, jumps,skis, parachutes,drives or tiptoes away , and no one ever, I mean EVER hits him.

He fires off one round from his teeny lil' Walther PPK .380 auto from 300 yards away and hit his mark every time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,452 Posts
All homeless anti hero ex-military types have a hidden footlocker with about 40 thousand dollars worth of ordinance in it. Evidently the government lets special forces types keep their issue guns, grenades, and rocket launchers.

If you swing the gun real hard while shooting it the bullet will curve.

When shooting at the good guys from a moving car the bad guys bullets evaporate as they fly past the goods guys with out hitting them. Thus the guy behind the good guys car never gets hit.

When shooting at a target a thousand yards away the bullet will reach the target as soon as the gun is fired.

If you run real fast from left to right it makes machine gun bullets drop to the ground right behind your feet.

When trying to fire a Glock for the first time when you squeeze the trigger and nothing happens you have to take the safety off by flipping the slid release leaver. ( From an episode of The Walking Dead season 1 ) After that you will have no trouble putting three rounds inside the letter O on a small metal sign even thought it is the first time you ever fired a gun.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,193 Posts
Or...just about any cowboy shoot 'em up where the hero blasts the bad guy while on horseback. I've tried to hit a stationary target while mounted on a horse, and couldn't hit s***, with a rifle or a pistol. (The horse didn't care too much for it either)
I fired a .22 rifle at a target when a young man while mounted on my old big (16 hands) quarter horse mix, Bill, and ended up spitting out grass and dirt and chasing the big lug down. Now, Bill and me got along great, he would cross creeks, climb the tallest hills, run and even jump over logs. I could crawl all over that horse and he would just snort and let me do what ever. But, when I popped off that round, he did not like gunfire------- he dumped me like a blind date and headed 3 miles back to the barn.
And yes, I forgot about the Matrix, and that dumb movie Angelina Jolie was in.
 

·
Grand Imperial Poobah
Joined
·
22,939 Posts
I forgot one. doh.gif


The police always show up in the nick of time!
 
1 - 20 of 60 Posts
Top