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Iron Maiden
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8,441 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

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"To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!"

~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers......

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.

Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

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Are we convinced yet?!?!? :mrgreen:
 

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Big Honkin' Daddy
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1,247 Posts
Killed any brain cells lately? :lol:
 
G

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well this may be a gun forum but there's lots of other enlightening information. i'd say we got the brands and the theory of booze pretty well down pat.hell, we may even know more about booze than we do guns, but thats not a bad thing.pblsyd
 

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Iron Maiden
Joined
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8,441 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
pblsyd said:
well this may be a gun forum but there's lots of other enlightening information. i'd say we got the brands and the theory of booze pretty well down pat.hell, we may even know more about booze than we do guns, but thats not a bad thing.pblsyd
We're a very diverse group...... aren't we?!?! :mrgreen:
 
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yes we are diverse. has anyone out there ever had Gibsons Finest 18 year old rye whiskey? the trouble with things like marguritas is that they take time to build. with Gibbys finest you can have it neat,on the rocks, mixed, straight out of the bottle or threw a straw. candys dandy but likkers quicker. how you drink this rye depends upon the social situation, of which there are 3. first class,second class and no class. i have experienced them all and proud of it!!! pblsyd
 

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Harley Dude
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14,651 Posts
SheNine said:
Does a bear sleep in the woods?!?!? ;)


Ah!Ha! There it is the favous Tradicional Jose Cuervo! I will check it out at my local state liquer control store and get a price. I'll bet its a high priced item in Oregon. :cool:
 

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Iron Maiden
Joined
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8,441 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
zipperzap said:
More importantly ... what does a beer do in the woods?
:cool:
He walks carefully so as not to fall down and get a "brews"!



Sig232 said:
Ah!Ha! There it is the favous Tradicional Jose Cuervo! I will check it out at my local state liquer control store and get a price. I'll bet its a high priced item in Oregon.
You will not regret it Lee..... ;)
 

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569 Posts
I'm sure I only have the fastest brain cells left, even tho there's not that many... :)
Now that all the kids are grown I can enjoy beer again...woohoo.
 

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761 Posts
I like Heinekin.
 

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zipperzap said:

Sorry - a double tap!
:roll:

They're called controlled pairs, not double tapping. Double tapping brings the UN down on you. Using controlled pairs doesnt.
 

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Harley Dude
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14,651 Posts
It is always important to remember:




And tell your children:

 

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569 Posts
WARNING FOR MEN... BEWARE OF THIS SCAM!!!!!

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when approached by any unfamiliar woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form, and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs."

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer, and then simply ask him home.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desire to be with horrific-looking women, to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times, these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female predator may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Male victims are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this public service message to every male you know. If you fall victim to this insidious "Beer" scam, and to the vicious women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking exploitation with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.
http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf
 

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569 Posts
 

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Iron Maiden
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8,441 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
glennc said:
WARNING FOR MEN... BEWARE OF THIS SCAM!!!!!

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when approached by any unfamiliar woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form, and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs."

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer, and then simply ask him home.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desire to be with horrific-looking women, to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times, these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female predator may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Male victims are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this public service message to every male you know. If you fall victim to this insidious "Beer" scam, and to the vicious women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking exploitation with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.
http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf

 
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