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Ancient Gaseous Emanation
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I do not believe I would have started with a loaded weapon (round chambered).

It is a bit disconcerting when you sweep the camera, your viewers, with the weapon's muzzle. It would be better if you pointed the muzzle at the table when changing positions/turning the weapon since an important firearms handling rule is: Never point the firearm at anything you don't want dead.

Other than that, not bad. Not bad at all!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
The reason i started with it loaded is because most gun owners i know keep a round in the chamber. I felt it necessary to remind gun owners to unload their weapons.
 

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Nice dismount and recovery. What course was this presentation for 'Snapp:)
 

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Ummmm

What class is this for?


I'll make the following critiques.

First thing I noticed right off was "Wow, that's a really open cut shirt." You want the focus to be on the firearm.
Also, it would be better to have a more landscape view and to get more of the table in the shot. It would allow for viewers to view the disassembled parts at anytime and would give a neater appearance since you don't have various parts going out of the shot.
 

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Jesus Saves
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All joking aside, the presentation was good. The subject matter could have been presented better, as mentioned already, but the presentation was good.

You did not talk too fast (which is a common problem with presentations), you spoke clearly, you did use the visuals to your advantage. The video quality was, IMO good although a larger (size) would have been slightly better, easier to see the mechanics and all.

Good job on the presentation.
 

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Ancient Gaseous Emanation
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Ummmm
First thing I noticed right off was "Wow, that's a really open cut shirt." You want the focus to be on the firearm.
Yup. Me too. But I'm old and after a little attitude adjustment I was able to concentrate on the task at hand. I don't know if my sons would be able to do that. I know my grandsons couldn't.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Ummmm

What class is this for?


I'll make the following critiques.

First thing I noticed right off was "Wow, that's a really open cut shirt." You want the focus to be on the firearm.
Also, it would be better to have a more landscape view and to get more of the table in the shot. It would allow for viewers to view the disassembled parts at anytime and would give a neater appearance since you don't have various parts going out of the shot.
This was actually my communications class. Yes, i understand the shirt may have been a bit much but the professor required an attention getting (verbal or non verbal). I figures that would cover it. Lol
 

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Ok you asked for our opinions. I have worked is sales and marketing for 25 years so if I am a little rough here I am sorry.

Any demonstration must be felt. It must be energetic, You must be happy. = This felt very monotone and preachey

Respect comes from professional dress= Yes the shirt was a distraction and pulled away from the message

Popeye is right the presentation was flawed by the fact that a gun was being waived in our faces. But you did good showing the safety issues.

A presentation with that close of a presentation is also distorting of what you are trying to accomplish = When speaking you shoud be back away from the camera the bring forward to show the function or point of the statement. I know you do not have a camera man. Zig would volunteer I'm sure. Sorry.

Your product knowledge seemed good but I did feel it was a little rehearsed, if you were smiling and excited it would help.

Remember you are trying to convince someone that you know the best way to disassemble that Taurus. They must believe you.


MAYBE I HAVE BEEN SELLING TO LONG BUT IF YOU DO SOME OF THIS I AM SURE YOU GRADE WILL SOAR!


I LIKE THE SUBJECT MATTER.
 

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Ancient Gaseous Emanation
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'Tis not the barrel waving in his face that would be the problem. :lol:
 

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I do not believe I would have started with a loaded weapon (round chambered).

It is a bit disconcerting when you sweep the camera, your viewers, with the weapon's muzzle. It would be better if you pointed the muzzle at the table when changing positions/turning the weapon since an important firearms handling rule is: Never point the firearm at anything you don't want dead.

Other than that, not bad. Not bad at all!
Ok you asked for our opinions. I have worked is sales and marketing for 25 years so if I am a little rough here I am sorry.

Any demonstration must be felt. It must be energetic, You must be happy. = This felt very monotone and preachey

Respect comes from professional dress= Yes the shirt was a distraction and pulled away from the message

Popeye is right the presentation was flawed by the fact that a gun was being waived in our faces. But you did good showing the safety issues.

A presentation with that close of a presentation is also distorting of what you are trying to accomplish = When speaking you shoud be back away from the camera the bring forward to show the function or point of the statement. I know you do not have a camera man. Zig would volunteer I'm sure. Sorry.

Your product knowledge seemed good but I did feel it was a little rehearsed, if you were smiling and excited it would help.

Remember you are trying to convince someone that you know the best way to disassemble that Taurus. They must believe you.


MAYBE I HAVE BEEN SELLING TO LONG BUT IF YOU DO SOME OF THIS I AM SURE YOU GRADE WILL SOAR!


I LIKE THE SUBJECT MATTER.
I have to go along with these gentlemen (term used loosely) and others...yes is
clear what you wanted to accomplish. But no matter what video/camera /production
skills/procedures may be involved in your scholar's critique....you must include optimum
safety procedures at all times...many reasons...most obvious...

I know is small production...but almost any store will have dumnition...shells that load/
eject/weigh same as real ammo..but are inert...

I liked the effort in general, but things like she should have locked slide open
after round eject to show was empty etc..always keep weapon pointed down etc..
mostly stuff already said...


Generally "good" effort/result.


That said...


You are fortunate...in that I am indeed certified to critique videos...by the Big AL
Cinematic Association LLC....

As my friend...Big AL, owns a chain of theaters...you may have heard of them...
"Big Al's you rent em, I got the Private Booth " theater chain.....


So..in grading this production...


Points and score :

1

35 - Camera and video results
30 - Continuity and script and presentation
35 - Acting and Script and Editing
-99 - Gross absence of more gratuitous large chested gals and wardrobe



regards,



1shot
 

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I had a feeling this thread would be degrading eventually. LOL
 

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Ancient Gaseous Emanation
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O_Snapp,

If you haven't gathered yet, we are a bunch of wise a**ed old farts. We also know firearms and have many decades (damn!) of firearms experience and other sorts of experience. Take our critiques in the manner they are offered, please. We mean no harm. Its just that we have some problem controlling ourselves in civilized society.

Or something like that.
 

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I had a feeling this thread would be degrading eventually. LOL

Hang in there pardner...at least I was honest before being funny...

It was "generally" good....go from there...correct...or take in comments...same as any
maker has done since a butt hit a seat in a dark room theater....:thumbsup::lol:

A great effort and good result.

All kidding aside...
But you can;t make a video ...example..."Selling the new 1957 Chevrolet"...then run
it on a car forum and car has mismatched hubcaps...or wrong motor shown....etc..


I liked it....keep going with more....good luck with teach...man I remember some
Prof's....the ones I like....came in...sat on desk...lit pipe...pointed to boards...
said "see that ? "...then left to be unseen for two weeks....:thumbsup:


1shot
 

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Jesus Saves
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If he did volunteer, i promise not to wave the barrel in his face lol.
I'll volunteer, where do I sign up! Will not promise the camera would not be a bit shaky!

As far as the barrel goes? DO you mean the gun or the double barrel? (sorry, could not resist)
 

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Asking us to critique this video is like asking Dianne Feinstein to critique our shooting skills.
 
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