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Harley Dude
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14,651 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This was sent to me recently from a friend that lives in Lake Worth Florida. I found it funny and thought I would share it with you!


HOW TO DRIVE IN FLORIDA:

1. You must first learn to pronounce the name, it is: "FLAAAAARIDA".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is

from
noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On
I-95 your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything
less is grounds to run you off the road while giving you the finger.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Florida has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go
first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second.
However, SUV cell ph one-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed
out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Florida. Detour barrels
are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of
the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting

8. Hollywood Blvd and Pines is the same road although some call it Pembroke
Pines Rd, which then gets confused with Pembroke Rd. which is just one
traffic light over. Hallandale Beach Blvd is the same as Miramar
Parkway which is not a parkway at all. And if that isn't enough to
remember Arvida Parkway which is also not a parkway at all has been
renamed Royal Palm Blvd not to be mixed up with the Royal Palm Blvd
located in Margate and Coral Springs (Which turns into Copans in
Coconut Creek).

9. Of Course there is some confusion when you get to McNab as to
where it starts and where it ends. And more than several hundred people
have run through the barricades of Hiatus Rd. which dead ends flat off a major
intersection.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been accidentally activated."

11. Merge means race like a madm an and cut the person in line off or
better yet ---run them off the road.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

13. If you are going to yell anything out the window, make sure it is in
Spanish.
 
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