National Gun Forum banner
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
G

·
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the
glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing.



Also, now I've to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
reason.



I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who's about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.



I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program.



I no longer worry about my soul because I've 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.



I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.



I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day



Thanks to you, I've learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.



Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.



I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch
the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping
gas.



I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans

.



I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes
cancer.



And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the
microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me
for life.



I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I'd be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.



My wife no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug her with a
perfume sample and rob her.



I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are
actually Al Qaeda in disguise.



I no longer shop at Target since they're French and don't support
our American troops or the Salvation Army.



I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore , and Uzbekistan.



I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.



Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big
brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death
when it bites my butt.



And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped
in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.



I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain
gas companies!



If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM
this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's
cousin's beautician...



Have a wonderful day.... Oh, by the way.....



A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study,
has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their
e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now,
it's too late.
:lol:
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,424 Posts
Yup, Zip -- that is allllll true...AND IT'S BUSH'S FAULT!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
569 Posts
zipperzap said:
PS

Click on the link under her: http://tropicalglen.com/

it's one of my favorites - it can be left on and listened
to throughout the day!
:i: :i: :i:
It's been added to my favorites eventho I have several hundred songs I downloaded before Napster got shut-down.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
569 Posts
zipperzap said:
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the
glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing.


























Have a wonderful day.... Oh, by the way.....



A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study,
has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their
e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now,
it's too late.
:lol:
And I'm gonna be rich cause a rich Nigerian left me $15,000,000 us dollars...
Half my e-mail relates to all of the above... :evil:
 

·
Harley Dude
Joined
·
14,651 Posts
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Yea I like the e-mails that I get telling me that if I don't play the game and forward them on to 7-14 folks I will die or have something bad happen to me or my family. What a crock of crap! ;)
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top