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Hey guys, I joined up a few weeks ago asking for opinions on getting my first gun and got the Beretta M9 and it's a beauty! My problem is the girl I'm seeing thinks I have a problem, especially after I told her I'm applying for a CCW license. She's refused to let me bring the gun to her place, and told me she can't trust me with it. We live in Orlando, FL right now and the ghetto's but 5 miles away, but seems she doesn't care and tells me she can't believe I'd buy something "so controversial." Besides pulling statistics of gun safety out of my ass, how should I try to explain to her a gun is for protection?
 

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Texas Legal Gunslinger
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3,531 Posts
Take her to the range and get her to shoot it. Worked for my wife.

[edit] Just becareful though. She may enjoy it and you won't be able to get any more guns because she'll want you to buy her a bunch.
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the quick reply. I've asked her before and all she said was she'd think about it. I'm just waiting for her to cool off right now. I'll try bringing it up again. Everyone can be converted into a gun lover right?

Edit:
Just becareful though. She may enjoy it and you won't be able to get any more guns because she'll want you to buy her a bunch.
I hope that's the case!
 

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Old School.
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11,011 Posts
I would make a deal with her to go to the range with you and try it out. Then do something she wants that evening like take her out to dinner at a nice place and maybe a movie. If she refuses I'd find me a new women. That's just me though.
 

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Harley Dude
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14,651 Posts
Sometimes its decision time. If this in a new gal and you are very fond of her you may want to pass on the gun discussions until you get to know her a lot better. Leave the gun in the car or at home and work on the relationship.

After your relationship is solid you can take her to the range and get her to accept your shooting hobby and explain your need to have that personal protection.

If you cannot compromise your needs with her fear you will have to move on to someone who shares your values about firearms and the second amendment.

I have found that a large majority of women that have never been introduced to firearms will take a hard line in the beginning of a relationship. Once they know you better and trust your judgement things change and they will accept your position on self protection. Many will go to the range and enjoy shooting with you.

Good Luck!
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
After your relationship is solid you can take her to the range and get her to accept your shooting hobby and explain your need to have that personal protection.
What he said.

Does she have bad history/experiences with firearms? Whats the deal?
 

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Premium Member
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15,424 Posts
Hey guys, I joined up a few weeks ago asking for opionions on getting my first gun andI got the Beretta M9 and it's a beauty! My problem is the girl I'm seeing thinks I have a problem, especially after I told her I'm applying for a CCW licence. She's refused to let me bring the gun to her place, and told me she can't trust me with it. We live in Orlando, FL right now and the ghetto's but 5 miles away,but seems she doesn't care and tells me she can't believe I'd buy something "so contraversial." Besides pulling statistics of gun safety out of my ass, how should I try to explain to her a gun is for protection?
If you can get her to see and understand that her position is one of ignorance, there may be a chance to bring her around. The words you describe are right out of the MSM's and Brady Bunch's field manuals. You have to wonder about the "she can't trust [you] with it" statement. If you have never done anything to make her question your trustworthiness and she makes such a statement, I have to agree with Mr. Baldy. Run...don't walk.

If she's talking about just the "potential" damage a gun can do, ask yourself, if you drove up in a Ferrari, would she tell you to go away? A Ferrari has the potential of going 180 mph and people have been killed driving fast.

There's an old joke about a reporter and an Army general and "potential".
 

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Just Some Dude...
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1,142 Posts
I hate to sound this way... but uh, when I met my wife... she simply didn't have any say. I have always carried a pistol... it's just who I am... Take It or Leave It. Period. There is no need to defend your choice... only your life!
 

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Harley Dude
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14,651 Posts
After giving it some thought I think the correct approach depends on the size of her chest!

36 D or larger toss the guns in the river and go for it.
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Does she have bad history/experiences with firearms? Whats the deal?
She's extremely "anti-violence" and at this point I haven't been able to coax what exactly that means out of her yet. When I told her I was thinking about joining the air force a while back after I got out of high school (followed my dad's advice and went to college instead) she told me if I ever joined she'd cut off the relationship, that she didn't want to worry about whether I'm alive or not. Her brother was in the marines actually, so are her cousins, but I can't get her to talk about that, especally right now. I wasn't looking forward to drinking at 21, I wanted a handgun. I guess she never thought I was serious. I'm willing to leave the gun out of sight and not bring it around with me and give her a chance to come around. I guess I have to wait and see if she's willing to wake up and listen. Knowledge is power, and she should know as she's applying for med-school; it's no different with anything else, especially not firearms. Seems my problem is I can't find the right way to say that so she'll understand. Have any of you had to convince family members, mothers, sisters or anyone about things like this?

Oh yea, I did ask her to go shooting again. She, of course said "no". When I asked her if she changed her mind, she basically said that yea it was because I bought a gun. There's got to be ways to move forward on this, I just don't know how.
 

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Iron Maiden
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8,441 Posts
After giving it some thought I think the correct approach depends on the size of her chest!

36 D or larger toss the guns in the river and go for it.

Dirty dog!!! :wink:



Akashio, My advice is this:

If you're that crazy about the girl and think she might be "the one", then work on getting her to accept that firearms - lots of them - will be a part of your collective life.

If you don't think she's "the one", do like has been said and move on. This is too big of a subject to squabble over, and let's face it, once you start down the gun road, there is no turning back!

Good luck......
 

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Registered
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55 Posts
Everyone's different and has a different approach and what works for me, may not for you. What SIG232 said about the 36D's might not be a bad idea until the novelty wears off and then back to the original plan. And then again, if you're giving in at the beginning, you could be giving in till the end.

Myself, I'd keep the guns and let her decide. Maybe take her to the Range for a look-see; just be sure to take along some hearing protection for her. If she's not receptive of the offer and becomes demanding . . well, I'd be call'n it . . "Mind over Matter". . I don't mind and she don't matter. But that's just me, I can be a little stubborn at times.

Regards:
Rod
 

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Ancient Gaseous Emanation
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55,659 Posts
She is telling you, "My way or the highway."

Take the highway.
 

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Premium Member
Joined
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15,424 Posts
I really don't mean to be cold, just honest. Her attitude isn't going to change anytime soon. You've got a life to live. If she can't at least open her mind enough to listen, if not agree, then maybe you can understand ole' Brad when he sings this little ditty:
 

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Drunk Supernova
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6,002 Posts
She's extremely "anti-violence" and at this point I haven't been able to coax what exactly that means out of her yet. When I told her I was thinking about joining the air force a while back after I got out of high school (followed my dad's advice and went to college instead) she told me if I ever joined she'd cut off the relationship, that she didn't want to worry about whether I'm alive or not. Her brother was in the marines actually, so are her cousins, but I can't get her to talk about that, especally right now. I wasn't looking forward to drinking at 21, I wanted a handgun. I guess she never thought I was serious. I'm willing to leave the gun out of sight and not bring it around with me and give her a chance to come around. I guess I have to wait and see if she's willing to wake up and listen. Knowledge is power, and she should know as she's applying for med-school; it's no different with anything else, especially not firearms. Seems my problem is I can't find the right way to say that so she'll understand. Have any of you had to convince family members, mothers, sisters or anyone about things like this?

Oh yea, I did ask her to go shooting again. She, of course said "no". When I asked her if she changed her mind, she basically said that yea it was because I bought a gun. There's got to be ways to move forward on this, I just don't know how.
Well I was going to give some inspirational words, and some advise about bringing her around. But this post caught my eye.

DUDE SHE IS A LIBARL THAT WILL NEVER BE HAPPY UNLESS YOU CONFORM TO HER BELIEFS.

No putanany is that good man. Don’t walk, don’t run, frigging sprint.
 

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Premium Member
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15,424 Posts
Whether it's because of her youth or if she is a truly committed Lib, the one thing I can promise -- regardless the fact that I've never met either of you -- is that IF she prevails in this matter, she WILL prevail in all others as your relationship progresses.

If firearms ownership and the responsibility it has is important to you and you set that aside for your "love and commitment" to her, you will have set a precedent that will not be be violated. And if you think about it, why should she give an inch on anything else, after learning just how easily you cave on something that has meaning to you?
 

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Registered
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402 Posts
So true... I'm already looking for my next purchase =). In the end time will tell... I can't force her to do anything. Thanks everyone.
Dude- we are ALL always looking for our next purchase :D There is no such thing as buying the "last gun".

Most people that have leanings towards gun control really have no actual understanding of the facts. The Brady Bunch's arguments actually make sense if you don't take the time to look into them, and you don't look at the real statistics. (Fact: not one single gun control measure has had a positive affect on crime rates, while in many cases, relaxing gun control has. One major example: crime rates in Florida after enacting shall issue concealed carry licenses. Gungrabbers can't point to s SINGLE instance where gun control has actually worked.) Most people, once they are educated on the facts and statistics, become pro-gun, though they may not be interested in owning guns themselves (not until after someone takes them to a range, that is :D)

If you have presented the facts and figures to her, and she is still anti-gun, then she is an honest-to-god gungrabber, and you will not be able to change her mind. At that point, your only option would be to inform her that you are a gun owner and a member of the NRA (you ARE a member, right?), and will always be a gun owner, and if that is a problem for her, then it may be best to part ways.

If you were the one to give in, then you would be giving up the means to defend yourself (and her) in exchange for a relationship with someone who doesn't believe you can be trusted to defend yourself. Up to you, but for me, that wouldn't be worth it.
 

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Don't Tread on Me
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485 Posts
How long have you known this girl? I had kind of the same thing going on for a while, my girl didn't mind me having/using guns she just didnt want to see them. I finally just sat her down and had a discussion with her about safety, showed her how to hold a firearm safely, how to open the action of the different firearms I have around and see that they're safe, etc, and well guess what, but 'libral' girlfriend is pretty much ok with it now. She's still not really up for going the range and I won't force the issue, but you've got to push comprimise. Hopefully after she's exposed she'll realize its not that big of a deal and not dangerous if you aren't an idiot, and no I don't take you for an idiot. One of her biggest problems with it was "what about when we have kids you know they're going to dig through your stuff no matter what you tell them"...well we went to a gunstore and showed her a nice selection of safes and said I would buy one when that bridge is a bit closer. So, comprimise, tell her you'll keep your guns locked either with a safe or a lock whenever they arent in your immediate control, and talk to her a bit about safety. Whenever your conversation ends up on guns, make it a conversation about safety, as it generally should be anyway. MOST of the "gun people" I know are the most responsible people I know. There is a stereotype of gun owners that some genuinely fall into and she's probably afraid you're a closeted crazy ******* gun freak. If she hasn't been exposed to the majority of gun owners, she won't know better. Don't kick her to the curb just yet, you have to learn to excuse ignorance for people who can be coaxed into englightened, and that goes with anything in life.
 
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Let me suggest you take her to a Cowboy Action match. When she sees men, women, boys and girls having fun with guns it should convince her that guns are not demons. Then try to get her to the range. It worked on my wife 9 yrs ago. Now she shoots with us Ca, indoor pistol bullseye and 4 position rifle, and she has her CCW and carries, She is also going to vote for a Republican, for the first time in her life, this Nov.
 
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