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Early Retirement

2K views 10 replies 6 participants last post by  SheNine 
#1 ·
The Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, grizzly old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.

But the old Sergeant Major insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant Major to "drop 'em," which he did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Sergeant Major's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Sergeant Major calmly replied... "Vietnam."
 
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#4 ·
Yep - still get a chuckle out of it.
 
#8 ·
Well, I was right! I had heard it and you are a pervert, sir!








Thanks! And as we know in the Corps, that will take you a long way in your career!:biggrin5:
 
#9 ·
Come on now, that one isn't too bad. Just wait till they hear about the time Little Johny met the pope.
 
#10 ·
Some of these never change (both of these). Good to know there ARE some things that are constant.
 
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