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Ancient Gaseous Emanation
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55,702 Posts
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The Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, grizzly old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.

But the old Sergeant Major insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant Major to "drop 'em," which he did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Sergeant Major's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Sergeant Major calmly replied... "Vietnam."
 

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Drunk Supernova
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6,002 Posts
That one never gets old.
 

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Chicago Pro-Gun Activist
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2,444 Posts

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Drunk Supernova
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6,002 Posts

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Chicago Pro-Gun Activist
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2,444 Posts
Ya ever hear the one about SgtMaj Little Johny?
I may have - would you care to share it with the group.............. :smilewinkgrin:
 

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Drunk Supernova
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6,002 Posts
I may have - would you care to share it with the group.............. :smilewinkgrin:
Ladies, I am sorry.

Sergeant Major Little Johny goes to Thailand.

He is planning on visiting a brothel. In preparation he stands infront of a mirror in his quarters, nude, and shouts out "Ahh Ten Huhgh", and on command his manhood comes to full attention.

Pleased with himself he dresses and heads out the door.

Once in the brothel he picks the woman he wants and takes her up to her room.

With her laying on the bed, and him still standing he says.


“Lady I have a treat for you. STAND BY! Ahh Ten Huhgh.” And once again his manhood comes to full attention.

With a smile on his face he looks down at the woman of the night, only to see her shaking her head no.

She says. “That nothing GI.”

Furious Sergeant Major Little Johny scowls down at the woman and says. “Yeah, what can you do better?”

With that she spreads her legs and bellows out. “OPEN RANKS!”

For those that do now know close order drill, you may not get it.
 

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Chicago Pro-Gun Activist
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2,444 Posts
Well, I was right! I had heard it and you are a pervert, sir!








Thanks! And as we know in the Corps, that will take you a long way in your career!:biggrin5:
 

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Drunk Supernova
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6,002 Posts
Come on now, that one isn't too bad. Just wait till they hear about the time Little Johny met the pope.
 

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Premium Member
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15,424 Posts
Some of these never change (both of these). Good to know there ARE some things that are constant.
 
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