At the grocery store
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Thread: At the grocery store

  1. #1
    Ancient Gaseous Emanation Popeye's Avatar
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    Default At the grocery store

    I need to VENT!!!!!!! Because I'M MAAAAD beyond belief!!

    I went to the grocery store this afternoon to pick up a some catfood and litter.
    I'm waiting in the self-checkout line and I dropped a $20 bill (yep that's me trying to hold everything because I didn't want a cart).

    The lady in front of me picked it up. I thanked her and held my hand out, and she said, "The things found on earth are kept by the collector," and walks away. I was like oh hell No!! I looked at the person behind me standing in line, they couldn't believe it either....this can't be real life right now, right?!

    So I took a deep breath and I turned back towards the lady/thief/or whatever you wanna call her and as I approached her I said, "Do I look like I'm in the mood?! Let's not play games. Go ahead and give me back my money." She had the nerve to ignore me completely and TRIED to walk away from me... SOOOOO, of course, I left everything and followed her into the parking lot as I was calling the police (because of course somebody's about to go to jail...not sure who at this point though, her or me). She was almost running at this point to get away from me, which was the first sign of real intelligence this lady had shown.

    When she got to her car she put her bags on the ground trying to quickly get her trunk open.

    I was boiling at this point! I decided that her “finders keepers" rule just presented the perfect opportunity for a great teachable moment...SO... I went into track star mode and ran full speed, as fast as I could with my bum knee, and grabbed her grocery bags, and headed to my car yelling, "The things found on earth are kept by the collector!" I hopped in my car ignoring her every attempt to get my attention. I was outta line I'll admit, but she was, too. I was HOT, but I had a sense of satisfaction at the same time. Anyway, I get home and open the bags and what did I find?

    3 packs of ribeye steaks
    3 pounds of wild caught salmon
    2 pounds of potatoes
    Everything to make a great salad
    And...
    A bottle of Wine

    I can't help but think to myself... WOW! Not bad for $20 dollars!
    The difference between a Socialist and a Communist is that the Socialist doesn't have all the guns yet.

  2. #2
    Senior Member NGF Addict! Fitasc Shooter's Avatar
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    What a C word she was!

    Amazing that since could afford all of that, she would blatantly steal your $20 in front of witnesses.
    Last edited by Fitasc Shooter; 04-14-2019 at 04:52 PM. Reason: added
    "Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience", George Carlin

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    Senior Member NGF Addict! Yosemite Sam's Avatar
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    Nice score! Hope she didn't get your plate and tell the cops some sob story and they come knocking.
    "I am fatigued Captain." Khan

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    Y'all realize this is posted in the jokes section, right?


    Alan
    Jack Ryan and Stevejet like this.
    But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.-Thomas Jefferson

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    Senior Member NGF Addict! Andy 22/308's Avatar
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    A version of the OP's story, dated Dec. 3, 2017, can be found [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]. Another version, dated July 19, 2017, can be found [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]. A much shorter version can be found [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]. What's up with this?
    "Behold, I Myself have created the smith who blows the fire of coals and brings out a weapon for its work." Isaiah 54:16

    "Now there was no blacksmith to be found throughout all the land of Israel, for the Philistines said, 'Lest the Hebrews make themselves swords or spears.'" 1 Samuel 13: 19

    "Each of the builders had his sword strapped at his side while he built." Nehemiah 4:17-18

    "Let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one." Luke 22:35-38

  7. #6
    Ancient Gaseous Emanation Popeye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan R McDaniel Jr View Post
    Y'all realize this is posted in the jokes section, right?


    Alan
    Yup..
    The difference between a Socialist and a Communist is that the Socialist doesn't have all the guns yet.

  8. #7
    Ancient Gaseous Emanation Popeye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy 22/308 View Post
    A version of the OP's story, dated Dec. 3, 2017, can be found [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]. Another version, dated July 19, 2017, can be found [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]. A much shorter version can be found [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]. What's up with this?
    Its a joke.
    The difference between a Socialist and a Communist is that the Socialist doesn't have all the guns yet.

  9. #8
    Keep calm & return fire NGF Addict! Speed's Avatar
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    I did this.....
    People crushed by laws, have no hope but to evade power. If the laws are their enemies, they will be enemies to the law; and those who have most to hope and nothing to lose will always be dangerous.
    -Edmund Burke

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    Senior Member NGF Addict! Stamps6's Avatar
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    Yeah as I was reading it I thought I’d heard this before.Lol

  11. #10
    Senior Member NGF Addict! Yosemite Sam's Avatar
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    Never heard it, didn't know it was in the jokes section, gullible me,
    Stevejet likes this.
    "I am fatigued Captain." Khan

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